You Know You’re A Runner

You know you’re a runner when you begin to like GU.

You know you’re a runner when call a Marathon a RACE.

You know you’re a runner when you have a massage not for pleasure.

You know you’re a runner when you start your workout in the rain.

You know you’re a runner when pay $20.00 for a $4.00 T-shirt.

You know you’re a runner when you know an IT band is not a group.

You know you’re a runner when you can openly discuss body fluids.

You know you’re a runner when you have 3 bowel movements prior to a race.

You know you’re a runner when you don’t stop to pick-up money on the street.

You know you’re a runner when women comment on your cleanly shaved smooth legs and you’re a guy. (for triathletes).

You know you’re a runner when your period begins during the marathon and you’re prepared.

You know you’re a runner when you urinate on yourself during a marathon to save time.

You know you’re a runner when during a race you accidentally crap on yourself but don’t stop to clean-up in order to save time.

You know you’re a runner when you smear Vaseline up the crack of your butt.

You know you’re a runner when during a romantic moment with your spouse you suddenly realize you forgot to remove the Band-Aids on your nipples.

You know you’re a runner when you feel like whacking the person who asks “Did you run a FULL Marathon?”

You know you’re a runner when You've managed to figure out how to have a bowel movement during a run somewhere in a densely populated subdivision and not be detected.

You know you’re a runner when 55 and cloudy sounds like perfect weather.

You know you’re a runner when a relaxing Sunday morning involves a two-hour run.

You know you’re a runner when you don’t have to pay full price for a pedicure because you only have eight toenails.

You know you are a cyclist when you have raspberry scars on your elbows and knees"